When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.

Steven Wright
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More Quotes By Steven Wright
  1. It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
  2. Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
  3. I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
  4. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  5. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
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